Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Art Project

Tonight I'm going to start working on four paintings for a group art project I'm involved in with my friend Lucy and other artists. 

I'll periodically post pictures of my progress as I go ....

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Bloody Hell! I Want SUMMER!

Oh well, at least I have fun penguin underwear ...

and sweet, adorable cats to cheer me up.

I must keep thinking positively.  I got a lot of work done - yay me!

And, Spring is just around the corner - I hope!

Monday, March 2, 2015

Life Just Got Busier

I thought I was doing pretty well.  I picked up a package from the post office, had a couple of prescriptions refilled, bought groceries, and tried my best to arrange with my friend/photographer Jeff.

My toilet has been broken for a few days, so today I went today to talk to the new administrator about fixing my toilet.  That request was fine.  And then, I asked the new administrator if I could please have two key cards because I'd just hired two new employees.  Her reply had been, Yeah, sure, it'll be $30.00 each for the deposit please.  Shocked, I told her that I had never paid for any of my employees' key cards before and that $30.00 each sounded outrageous to me!  She,stuck to,her guns, though, and said that's what she believed to be the rule here.  I tried to reason with her by explaining that I hire my own employees who assist me  with my daily routine, and I would have have been able to do this if I had been expected to pay $30.00 a person!

The matter did not get resolved,, unfortunately, so I need to write an emaI t her and try see things from my point of view.  Actually, it's n just me. Other people who receive Direct Funding to hire their own employees shouldn't be made to pay for extra key cards. It's discrimination!  It's a financial barrier to a person's independenve!

I Was going to paint this evening and start a whole new picture, but now I have to write this emaI a then fill,out a questionable that a speech language pathologist student asked me to,do as a favour for her.

So, I'll paimt tomorrow.  Hopefully ....

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Thinking About Anxiety

Yesterday, after the market, I had dinner with my brother Bruce and his two kids. Bruce asked me how I was and I told him, "I'm fine, very busy, and kind of stressed out. I'm just like Mom, she used to get stressed out too."

My brother kind of laughed at me and said that he didn't think our mom was ever stressed out. I didn't argue with him, but I thought "Didn't you know Mom at all?" She was always telling me about how she had restless nights from worrying about everything. Mom also told me she took supplements to help with her anxiety. I think Mom got her anxiety from her mother who worried about paying the bills on time and what the neighbors thought about her.

My two earliest memories of having my own anxiety were 1. Having to cover up my clock at night because I was so intimidated by time going by so quickly, and 2. Having such a bad panic attack at Expo 67 that my parents had to take me out of a movie theatre. Interestingly enough, the movie was about how time passes by so fast and before you know it you're old and useless.

All of my life I've struggled with anxiety. Different things set it off, like having so much to do and not knowing how the fuck I'm going to do everything, worrying about everything, and thinking about how much I miss my mom and Rob.

However I think of my anxiety in similar terms as my Cerebral Palsy they`re both just things I have to deal with on a daily basis.

Quick the Lorazepam!!!!!

Saturday, February 28, 2015

People Are Weird

People are most definitely weird.  I was explaining to Sarah K that when Rob was alive he used to record The Shopping Channel practically every day, as well as watch it in real time.  Most people I tell this to always burst out laughing, and Sarah K was no different. I used to  laugh at this little idiosyncrasy of Rob's, and he in turn laughed at my use of "insipid" and "inane" when I described my feelings about The Shopping Channel. Nobody actually used those words, he'd say.

During the day at the market, there was a customer (I say customer ironically because he never actually bought anything) who was the absolute definition of weird. He liked my art, sure, but then he started to get all new age hippie on me.  He kept saying that it was wonderful how I did my art with my mind, and that my mind (as well as everybody else's minds) would live on forever.

The customer then told Sarah K and me that he too was an artist - he'd gone to OCAD and everything!  He proceeded to then showed us picture after picture from his phone of all of his artwork.  It was all stained glass windows, and sure it was good but so similar!  So mind-numbingy boring.

When Leon came by for his weekly visit, I practically reached out and grabbed him, knowing full well that his presence would make the customer feel uncomfortable enough to decide to scram.  At  first, Leon didn't understand what I was doing and he kept saying that he had to leave ASAP to go to a meeting.  I told him, "No, no, please stay for five minutes -  and tell me all about the movie you're working on!" (This is particularlally funny because lately the production of his movie is what Leon has been talking about the most.)

In the end, the customer took the hint and left, but not until he said some pretty messed up ableist shit.  In front of me, he told Sarah K and Leon how wonderful he thought they both were for "taking such good care" of me.

Inwardly,  I cringed at his words.  I couldn't understand how he didn't even  realize how offensive he was being. He ,made me feel like he thought that I was some kind of house pet that was incapable of any kind of self-determination or self-awareness.

To their credit,both Sarah K and Leon did their best to stand up for me. Sarah K explained that she worked for me and that I paid her wages. And Leon simply stated that I was his best friend.

Most people have some sort of weirdness inside of them, but. I would far rather deal with Rob's funny weirdness than the self-centred,  judgemental weirdness of thatt one customer I had today.  

Friday, February 27, 2015

Happy and Unstuck

I had an excellent day!

I finished my painting of Princess Eboli, and I really like it!

All morning and afternoon, Dobrila and Gordon helped me do an instructional video for employees who are training to work for me.  This will make my life so much more easier!

Wednesday, February 25, 2015


Today counselling was cancelled, and it's been awhile since I posted anything of substance here. I'm bursting to let everything out!

My cat painting needs to be finished, though ....

Tomorrow, hopefully, I'll spill my guts ...!

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Another Very Productive Sunday

I was so full energy today!  Emails/texts were written; note cards and other merch were designed and ordered; my financial ledger was updated; floors were washed, laundry was cleaned; and, card packages were put together.

Now, I'm about to start a new painting ....

Saturday, February 21, 2015

I'm Back

As the song goes, I'm back, back in the saddle again!  Or, more aptly stated, I'm back at St. Lawrence Market.

The journey here was cold and snowy, but way better than last week. Egad, minus thirty with the wind chill! Mother Nature should take a Lorazepam and chill out ... er, warm up.

Well, I'm hopeful that today will be a good day for sales. Hopefully, I'll get some more commissions for paintings too

Commissions are bread and butter for artists!

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Post Called Because of Rain

Well, actually, pain - muscle and joint pain to be exact!

Write to you all tomorrow, everybody ....

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Looking Forward and Trying to Figure Things Out

After breakfast, and emails/texts/phone calls, and buying groceries, and adding more songs to my YouTube playlist, and finally deciding that my painting of Napoleon really was finished, I began to contemplate on what to do next.

I have to start painting a cat named Princess Eboli for one of my customers; that's number one on my  list.  However, I'm thinking about bigger things. I want to apply to the Riverdale Art Walk; the One of a Kind Show; and, the Artpreneur three month workshop.  God knows if any of my applications will be accepted, but I need to try.

And then, I logged onto Facebook and looked up some old friends from Germany.  When I have a chance I'll ask them for advice on where to stay in Berlin and what to see/do there.  I'm pretty sure I'll go to Berlin in August for my birthday.

I got distracted from messaging my friends, though, because I thought hey, I should look into getting into a new power wheelchair before I go on my trip.  I was kind of disappointed in the selection I saw on the internet. It's been six years since my last new wheelchair, and there haven't been any cool developments.  None of them can go 50 mph, or fly, or do time travel.

Jeez, engineers/manufactures, get on the ball!