Thursday, August 28, 2014

Time to Chill Out

I did a lot of work today, and that's good.  However, there are some loose ends and some bad news that are stressing me out.  I know there's not much I can do about any of it, so I'm allowing myself to take a break ...

               and a Lorazepam ...

                                  and a cuddle or two with my cats.



Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Bring it on!

Last night I had a dream that a bunch of huge and very muscular wrestlers were chasing me and trying to fight me. There were 9 of them, and I kept trying to lose them one by one by tricking them into going into rooms with glass doors and locking them in. When I was face to face with the last wrestler I looked up at his huge body and glared at him, and I said, "Ok, bring it on! I'm going to tear you limb from limb! I may look small but I'm a power house!"

And, you know what? The bastard ran away!

I woke up in a fantastic mood, ready to take on the world! So, bring it on you bastards!

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

I'm in the Mood to Paint

I had a very busy and productive day (yay!) but now all I want to do is paint.

 Can't stop these creative juices from flowing, you know!

Monday, August 25, 2014

Crazy Busy Day


Today is going to be a crazy busy day!

At 2:30, I'm going to meet Sarah at Winners to buy Roger a white shirt.  (He wants me to paint it and turn it into a Hawaiian shirt.)

Afterwards, we'll go to Starbucks, and then to Loblaws to buy groceries.  At home, we'll eat dinner, and then I'll paint Roger's shirt.  (Maybe I'll finish my dog painting too!)

Brittainy and her boyfriend Billy will come at 8pm, and we will head off to see the newest episode (and doctor!) of Dr Who at the Yonge and Dundas movie theatre.

Woo-hoo! I'm so excited!

Yes, I know I'm a geek ....

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Remmingtons XXX



Lucy, Me, and Meaghan

 This post is X-rated, so if you're kind of squeamish skip this one ....

Last Wednesday night was hilarious and kind of weird. Sure, it was hot too (because of all of the naked men dancing around) but it was mostly hilarious and weird.

Before I went to Remington's I had Lucy scope it out for me, so I knew it had lots of stairs up inside. Because of this, I knew I couldn't take my power wheelchair. So, I came up with this idea of bringing my commode/shower chair to Remington's. This meant that Lucy drove her car to my building and put me in the passenger seat and my commode/shower chair in the trunk, and she and her friend Meaghan and I went to Remington's. Once there, Lucy carried up the chair and then me afterwards. I'm not sure what the management and the strippers thought of all this production! Management seemed grumpy to have somebody like me at their establishment, but the male strippers on the whole, were super friendly and nice to all of us.

I have to admit that I kept comparing Remington's to the Tropicana. The Tropicana had much more professional and choreographed stage performances. Plus, ahem, they had cock rings on so they wouln't deflate. However, at Remington's they only had very small stage with a brass pole in the middle. Some guys were fantastic dancers and used the pole to turn upside down walk on ceiling. But, there were a few men who had just a couple of dance moves and basically did "helicoptors". There was one guy who reminded me of Adam Sandler who just could not get it up. I love hot naked men with cocks, but that Adam Sandler look-alike almost ruined it for me (I also saw this guy licking some guy's face on his break, and that didn't gross me but it sure was weird!)

For the most part, I had a fantastic time! Most of the dancers were very friendly and came over to chat with me or kiss me or to rub parts of their anatomy on me. Meaghan very generously gave me lots of dollar bills so I could stuff them down the dancers underwear.

There was one dancer I had a crush on who was more charming then the rest, and he gave me a lap dance. That was the highlight of my night! (thank you, Dameon!)

Will I go again? You bet your ass I will!





Saturday, August 23, 2014

PAIN!!!

Sorry.  I feel like a complete and utter teaase for not writing about my adventures at Remmingtons today like I said I would, but I'm in PAIN!!!  My neck, back, right upper arm, and left side of my groin hurt like HELL!!!

Despite my pain, I had a pretty good day.

My friends Roger and Ean came to see me.


Plus, Larry and the gang from Indiana came to visit me too.



All in all, it was a fun, friendship-filled day - and a profitable one as well!

That's all for now.   My pain is terrible!

Quick, a Percocet!  (And, time to chill out before bed ....)

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Missing Mom

I'm listening to my YouTube Songs That Remind Me of  Mom playlist.  It's all of her favourite songs ... well, most of them anyway.

I can see Mom swooning over the songs of Julio Iglesias, remarking how much she thought that Julio was so sexy, both in his good looks and sultry voice. He was ok, I thought, but I was more into The Monkees back then.

When I was a kid, Mom used to sing and dance around the house to songs like: Your Feets Too Big, Ain't She Sweet, Bicycle Built for Two, It's a Great Big Wonderful World, and Good Morning!

Mom, wherever you are, I hope you're still dancing, singing, and grooving to music.  You were always so optimistic about everything in life.  I admired that in you.

I love you, Mom!

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

You Are Always on My Mind

I decided a couple of weeks ago that on the anniversary of the eve of my mother's death to go to Remington's and watch hot men dance around and take their clothes off. 

Mom would have understood. She would have laughed and said, "That's my Annie!" And, she probably would have made the same joke she always made when I talked about going to see male strippers:  "Bottoms up!"

I love you, Mom!  How could I not?  You were the funniest, kindest, most open-minded person I ever knew.  I'm so glad you were my mom.

And yet, I'm sure you'll understand that the last day and night I spent with you were probably one of the hardest in my life. Scenes from that time keep replaying in my head, and frankly I'd rather watch hot men dance tonight.

I love you Mom. You are always on my mind, and in my heart. I'll toast you tomorrow with wine and play your favorite song. Maybe I'll even watch "The Third Man" if it's on YouTube.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Guest Blog

Here's the scene:  Deep scarborough hospital.  Anne has been coming to the ICU night after night, in response to phone calls from nurses who surmise that the latest flooding of Verna's heart might mean her last.   Dutiful daughter would haul herself out there by way of cab - the wheel trans couldn't be booked in advance for these situations - and wait by her mother's bedside.   Verna wasn't lucid when I accompanied Anne, but she wasn't totally out of it.  She seemed kind of in between, as though her consciousness was transluscent,  blending in with all that surrounded her.   These visits were harrowing for her daughter, whose last experience with hospitals had been traumatizing and shocking, and ultimately life-altering.   Nonetheless, Anne wanted to be present for her mother as much as possible, and so she was.   Verna made a play toward consciousness just as she exited, held Anne's hand during her last gasp, and then shimmered away.  I had never seen anyone die, but this looked like the kind of death many people wish for: peaceful and with a loved one.  We left the hospital, the morning sun upon us, and waited for the cab to drive home. 

Anne recalls two years ago today as the last day that her mother was conscious and happy.  "Yuula even fed her some food."  I think about Anne and her friend Tina's mom talking a few months ago.  Tina has MD, and her mom said "The chord between a mother and a kid with a physical disability is never cut."  I don't know that I attribute Anne's closeness to her mother to disability at all, but I do know that they were unusually and admirably close and peaceful, in the way that people wish to be between parent and adult child.  Perhaps their interdependence had started from Anne's different ability and needs, but it had certainly grown into a joyous and nurturing relationship in both directions.   Anne was just saying she recalled that the moment her mother died, the song "Go Your Own Way" by Fleetwood Mac, entered her head, as though her mother was telling her to go on and have some fun.  I have no doubt that Verna appreciated all the attention Anne gave her in her last days, and that she would be happy to see her daughter's hard work incarnate as painting.  I think Verna invested a confidence and love in Anne, such that, after her death, she knew Anne would be fine to take care of herself, settle the estate, have some laughs, drink some drinks, cry a bunch of tears, see male strippers, and spread the joy she regularly does.   I think what I'm about to say is stupid, but I believe it:  I think Verna was ready to go, even if Anne wasn't ready for her to go.  From what I see, greiving doesn't get easier as time goes on.  But it does change.   It's good to speak of the dead, death, dying and all of that.  Not ignore it or avoid it.  I have nothing profound to say, and very much admire the blogger that regularly undertakes this task.   But today she must paint.   And if you know her, drop her a line and say what's up over the next few days.  Remember Verna in all her white haired, humanist, underwear show loving glory.   She did, after all, birth a veritable genius.

Bloggerly,
Simone Eileen Schmidt

 

Monday, August 18, 2014

Tired but Happy


I'm tired but happy.  Sure, I have a list as long as my arm of things I need/want to get done, but my stress levels are amazingly low.

I had a fun day today.   I bought myself a new one cellphone because the one I had kept turning off for no reason.  Plus, it was one of those phones that had a keyboard, and the keys kept stickiing. Ew!

I also used used the Indigo gift card I got for my birthday and bought two books.  One was by Dean Koontz, and the other one was a novel about Catherine the Great.

And, for dinner, Sarah and I dined with Roger at the Hard Rock Cafe.

All in all, it was a bloody good day!

Sunday, August 17, 2014

I'm STILL Trying to Knuckle Down

Bloody hell!  The email I was composing last night accidentally got deleted.

All day: typing, typing, typing - and saving!

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Still Knuckling Down

I'm still knuckling down, trying to finish a piece of writing I need to do - before I start a whole new (and vastly more fun) project.

I'm S T R E S S E D  O U T , my guts are giving me problems (probably because of the stress), and one of my best friends is worried about her sick cat.  (I'm a sucker for a sad cat/child/disadvantaged person stories!)

I think, feel, and care way too much for my own good.

Thank god for booze, art, Lorazepam, hot men, and ---

small cute children who ran around the market today in similarly bright and flashing shoes as mine!

Friday, August 15, 2014

Knuckling Down

I did a lot of work yesterday and some today.  I'm proud of myself for doing so much, and I have new ideas rolling around in my head ....

And yet, I know there's one more thing I have to do, something I must do, even though I've been avoiding it for two days now.

I simply must knuckle down and do it!

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Tossing and Turning

It's about 3am as I write this. My mind is too full of thoughts, my heart too full of emotions. I've decided that this will be the only thing I'll write in my blog today. There's work to be dome and things to be sorted out.