Communication is the Word of the Day

Emails, texts, emails, texts, emails, texts.  This is how most of my day has been like.  I've been organizng like mad, not just scheduling my employees for their regular shifts but also making sure that people are available to assist me during the weekend of the Riverdale Art Walk.

I've been also in contact with the people in charge of the art festival, making sure that they understand that there needs to be some concessions made on my behalf because of my disability.

Everything will work out.  I'm sure it will!  I think .... I hope ....

I've never done any kind of art festival like this before, so I've been feeling extra, extra stressed out about everything during these past few days.  It's been so bad that one day I doubled the dosage of my Lorazepam.

And yet,  the non-stop mind racing; the heart thump-thump-thumping within my chest; and, the relentless doubts that poke my sleep like sharp spears are only part of the problem.

Overwhelming sadness and regret, this is my problem. I yearn for Mom and Rob to be here to share this new adventure with me.  Part of me says Just quit, back out of the festival.  It's too hard to manage and deal with.  But I know that I can't do this; quitting isn't an option.  Doing the Riverdale Art Walk is a step onwards.  Doing other festivals and gallery shows will also point me in the right direction.

Onwards and upwards!